Maybe starting with something already finished will get me writing/blogging again. Here goes. One thing my counselor had me do is make a list of my angers, hurts, and fears. I thought it was interesting how it turned out so here's the results with the exception of hurts because I don't know who will read this.
in no particular order...
angers:
bad reasoning
willful ignorance
evangelism
scare tactics
apologetics
patriotism
Fox news
wasteful living
parking lots
pollution
greed
insensitivity
war
racism
"justice"
entitlement
American Idol culture
groupthink
pedophiles
impatience
giving up on people
leaving people behind
the martyr complex
fears:
being alone
hating my job
depression
divorce
slow painful death
wasps
becoming an alcoholic
god existing
god not existing
discontentment
being raped
entropy
silence
things falling apart
suicide
driving people away
not caring
ruining my own life
my stubbornness
letting go of guilt
letting go
that I am in love with sadness
giving up on people
leaving people behind
the martyr complex
now it's your turn.
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4 comments:
Fears:
Rejection
Driving
Not being able to let go of the past
Decision-making
Knowing that what I want may not be out there
Never being good enough
What they think of me
What he thinks of me
Letting my parents down
Getting fat
Not being curvy enough
Hurts:
Burnt bridges
Lost friendships
Racism
Dishonesty
Disappearing acts (“I wish you would just be a man and tell me to my face”)
Broken promises
angers:
people who don't listen
being patronized
street harassers
consumerism
commodification
people who don't question
people who think they have all the answers
people who don't bother to line up their lives with their ideas
suburbs
fears:
a meaningless life
the suburbs
being isolated
having an inflated idea of my abilities
not being able to speak/scream
being raped, yes
chronic depression
being friends with people just because we make each other feel good about ourselves
being the last one to leave i.e. being left rather than leaving
hurts:
that time
and that time
and that time.
Angers:
hypocrites
patronizing tones
co-dependancy issues in other people
the concept of 'cool people' and 'nerds'
the fact that these two are not supposed to meet
being misunderstood
close-minded
preconceptions stuck in the seventies
realizing how pathetic the people i used to like are
you trying to win it all back
Fears:
spiders under my desk
snakes under my bed
embarrassing myself
not being as smart as I thought I was
failing
realizing my parents were right
getting raped (fear of the modern woman, yes?)
not working hard enough for what i want
falling in love with the wrong person
not being strong enough to get myself out
following the crowd without realizing it
living the suburban life with a man and kids who are just okay
yes, getting fat
yes, not being curvy enough
Hurts:
you not understanding
assuming you know my life story
being left out
used
time wasted
late nights awake because of that
thanks for commenting, ladies. holly, i relate to your suburbaphobia.
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